Cada árbol y cada planta del prado
parece estar danzando;
aquéllos con ojos comunes
sólo los verán fijos e inmóviles.

27 may. 2012

Epic Africa Music

Ignorance is the greatest source of fear on Planet Earth

The divine plan for awakening is being achieved – right now – as you all continue to release unloving attitudes and behaviors.  Enough of you are doing this to swing humanity forwards into the new age because you are also getting enormous help from many other loving entities who have had their own struggles, understand what you are going through, and wish only to help you to reach your divine destination as they did.  And so you will, as many of us in the spiritual realms keep reminding you, because it is unavoidable and inevitable.
You are, as you well know deep within yourselves, highly evolved beings of Light, just as God created you, and nothing can ever change that because what God creates is eternal and perfect.  Your awakening will bring this knowledge experientially into your conscious awareness, and you will never again lose it — for you will have discarded everything that was blocking that knowledge.
As divine beings your place is with God; there is nowhere else.  The places that you seem to have been experiencing for so long, and with such suffering and confusion, are unreal, regardless of the fact that to you they frequently appear to be the only reality that there is.  This is due to your ongoing choice to be unaware of anything that cannot be perceived by your bodily senses.  Now your science is belatedly admitting that just because you remain unaware of something does not mean that it does not exist.  This admission is allowing many new areas of research to be undertaken that require you to expand your consciousness and follow your intuition which then becomes an ever more powerful tool the more you use it.
Many of you have experienced altered states of consciousness that were more real to you than your “normal” less-than-fully conscious state, but you have been persuaded they were unreal, imaginary, would lead to psychosis, and have therefore stopped seeking to reenter them.  And of course the war on drugs has further frightened people into believing that altered states are damaging and psychotic.  Yes, some have indeed done severe damage to themselves by the use of various intoxicating substances – mainly in desperate attempts to relieve the suffering and pain of their “normal” state.
But what you accept as your “normal” state of consciousness is far from normal. It is the state in which you live in fear and anxiety, constantly feeling the need to take all kinds of precautions to ensure your safety.  It encourages distrust, disagreement, and conflict, thus ensuring that what you fear comes to pass. However, sensible and intelligent research into altered states of consciousness is discovering that those altered states can provide healing for many of the ailments that plague humanity.  The more your state of consciousness expands the more your knowledge grows, and the more your fear subsides — because ignorance is the greatest source of fear on Planet Earth.
God’s plan is for you to become fully conscious.  In that state nothing is hidden from you and so there is nothing to fear.  And that is what it means to awaken. When your physical body is sleeping, it is unaware, unknowing, it knows nothing, and sometimes it becomes drawn into the most horrific nightmares that are convincingly real and which often lead to the body awaking in terror.  It can take some seconds for the sleeper to realize that he has awakened and is in fact quite safe.  But the memory often lingers on, and he is reluctant to go back to sleep. Fear strikes at the heart of ignorance, and knowledge is the only remedy.
When you awaken you will have infinite knowledge, bringing you infinite peace and infinite joy because you will then be aware of the infinite possibilities available to you that will encourage you to exercise your unique individual creative talents for your constant enjoyment.  And because all are one, each of you will delight in and fully enjoy the creations of everyone else.  Fabulous and endless creative opportunities await you all in the harmonious environment into which you are about to awaken.
With so very much love, Saul.

15 may. 2012

“I Don’t Fit In.”

Do you believe that you are supposed to 'fit in?' You might feel differently after reading this article!

 By Dr. Margaret Paul
May 14, 2012

The other morning, I opened our carton of eggs to make my breakfast. I looked at the beautiful eggs we get from our local organic farmer, James Ranch. The eggs were all different colors—light green, white, dark brown, light brown and speckled brown. They were also all different sizes. I felt grateful that I got to look at all the different colors and sizes rather than the same-size, same-color eggs that come in the cartons of store eggs. The thought occurred to me—why is sameness so important to people? Why do they want eggs that are all the same size and all the same color?
I often hear from my clients, "I don't fit in." "I'm too different from everyone else." "I'm an alien."
"I'm different and an alien too," I tell them, "and I'm proud of it. I don't want to 'fit in' and be like everyone else. I just want to be me."
Many of us grew up believing that if we were 'different,' there was something wrong with us. In junior high and high school, all I wanted was to be just like everyone else. I never was, but I got good at faking it so that I could fit in.
But as time went on, I found myself very bored with the people I considered 'normal.' Then I realized that I was equating 'normal' with 'average.' Did I really want to strive to be average? No! I was never average at anything! I was the type of kid who worked and worked until I mastered something. When my parents bought me a pogo stick when I was about 10, I practiced and practiced until I could jump that pogo stick forever—hundreds of times without ever falling off. I did not know one other kid who could do that. I did the same thing with free throws in basketball. I was the best kid on the block in free throws!
I did this with everything that interested me. Nothing less that excellence would do. But, this meant that I didn't exactly fit in, as few kids I knew were willing to put in that kind of time to achieve excellence.
A few years after starting college, I read a couple of books on what was going on in our country regarding the food industry. That's when I threw all the food out of my little kitchen and started to eat organic. Again, I didn't fit in. I remember one day when I was in the ceramics lab at UCLA eating yogurt—which is common now but at that time was considered weird—and people were laughingly calling me a health food nut. I WAS definitely devoted to health food, but did that mean I was a nut? I accepted the label and started to call myself a health food nut—with pride! It was years before others caught up enough to no longer think there was something weird or nutty about how I ate.
Now, I no longer want to fit in at all. I like being just who I am—different, weird and alien. As I looked at my beautiful different colored, different size eggs, I felt joy in the differences and joy in my appreciation of my own differences and others' differences. I love people who cherish their differences, and I really don't like it when James Ranch is out of eggs and I have to buy the eggs in a health food store—all the same size and all white or the very same shade of brown. How boring!

Daily Inspiration

When you spend time with someone, is your intent to give or to get? Notice in your interactions with others if you are sharing your caring and understanding, or if you are trying to get attention and approval. Or, are you giving to get - giving caring to get approval? Noticing your intent can help you shift from trying to get to wanting to give and share. By Dr. Margaret Paul

"How much of your thinking time is spent in the past and future? Consciousness—connection with self, others and Spirit—occurs only when we are in this present moment. The wounded self loves to ruminate about the past and future as a way to control. When we let go of trying to control what we can't control, we can surrender to the love, peace and joy of present moment".

13 may. 2012

With the preparations complete, a most wonderful experience is about to envelop you

The awakening of humanity into full awareness of its true identity will be an event of enormous importance for all of God’s divine creation, and that importance cannot be overemphasized.  Many eons have been spent preparing for this extraordinary event, and now, with the preparations complete, a most wonderful experience is about to envelop you.
For thousands of years many loving beings have been entering the illusion and moving among you, demonstrating Love in action.  Your various religions have told you about them because frequently, after these beings had visited you, some of their followers founded religious organizations to carry their message forward for the benefit of all.  However, as with all organizations that have been formed within the illusion, as time passes the message that they profess and promulgate becomes distorted and corrupted, and the organizations become obsessed with their own continuing existence and with internal leadership struggles.
Consequently, they lose sight of the message that they were set up to proclaim, and the people whom they were supposed to help become disillusioned and drift away to form their own alternative establishments with conflicting dogmas that they often present as inviolable truths to all who will listen to them.
Much harm and suffering has been caused by these unfortunate misrepresentations.  At first all of these organizations were founded with the best of intentions, but sooner or later they lost their way, as the distractions the illusion provides drew them into competition and disagreement with each other. Then they sought to attract new members either by changing the message they offered to suit the situation in which they found themselves, or by reinforcing the dogmas they had already developed and by adding grave threats of eternal divine punishment to those who ignored or deviated from them.
A large proportion of humanity has now realized the invalidity of these threatening and unloving dogmas and has come to understand that the only belief that makes sense is in a God of infinite indiscriminating Love for all mankind.  Any other belief obviously makes no sense at all.  And of course Love is the energy that flows through all of creation, providing life and consciousness for all of God’s children regardless of their beliefs, ethnicities, or places of residence within the divine cosmos.
There are still large numbers who would cling to insane dogmas out of fear, and who need to persuade others to join with them so that they may convince themselves that they are righteous in the sight of their harsh judgmental god. But even among them many are beginning to see the Light, and they are starting to realize — even if they cannot yet admit it to themselves — that those paths of belief in their own righteousness and their consequent self-given authority to condemn others which they have been following so enthusiastically, and which they attempt to frighten or persuade others into joining with them, are dead ends, leading nowhere, and offering only further pain and suffering.
Many once thought that pain and suffering were holy in the sight of God, and that to embrace them endeared them to Him.  Now the invalidity of that belief is becoming evermore obvious.  God is Love.  No discussion necessary!  Any attitudes or behaviors that are unloving are not of God.  God does not want anyone to suffer, even someone that all of humanity might see as an abomination, a fulfillment of all that is evil.
Pain and suffering are inventions of humanity, made to add spice to the illusion, and what enormous misery they have caused to so many.  Finally you have reached the stage in your spiritual evolution where it is becoming abundantly clear to you that a loving God would never ask you to suffer on His behalf.  What need could He possibly have to see you suffer?  He Loves His creation with all of His infinite and majestic Heart, and He constantly demonstrates His Love — because He loves, and in order to teach the unaware, the unknowing, the sleepers, that Love is all there is.
This is Reality – God’s infinite and abundant Love for all of creation – and it is into this state that humanity is to awaken.  It is inevitable, unavoidable, and divinely assured for you, because it is the Will of God.  To enter the illusion and experience all that it had to offer was a choice that each one of you made.  God immediately provided the way out and the necessary guidance for you to find the exit, because He knew that your seduction by it would come to an end and that you would want only to return Home.  Now that time has come.  You are close to awakening and He is encouraging you to do just that.  It is now also your will (in fact, it always has been — you just forgot).  And so it will happen.  Whenever you align yourselves with the divine Will, miracles occur!
With so very much love, Saul.

It is a vision of immense power that you are bringing into being

by John Smallman
The awakening of humanity is proceeding apace.  All is exactly as it should be, as more and more of you start to become aware that enormous changes in the way you live and experience life are shortly to come into effect.  The first signs of this are already visible and being reported, mainly in the alternate and independent media, but there are also brief snippets occurring in the mainstream news.  Watch out for them there because reports from that area give you what you might call more tangible evidence that great changes are underway – at last the mainstream media are starting to tell some of the truth, and that is in itself inspiring.
Waiting for the arrival of this mind-altering event continues to be stressful for very many of you who have held the Light and the vision for so long with such eager anticipation.  That was one of your reasons for being on Earth at this time, and you knew when you elected to take it on that it would not be easy, although you also knew that you would have tremendous amounts of assistance to help you to achieve your aims and assist in the awakening of all of humanity.  Remind yourselves frequently of the vision that you have been holding and make regular contact with others on similar paths because it gives you added strength and confidence when you associate with those who are also holding this vision.
It is a vision of immense power that you are bringing in to being, to replace the illusion in which you have been hidden for so long.  Its arrival is of enormous importance as it will finalize your release from the shackles that have bound you so firmly to unreality and suffering.  It will allow you to discover and revel in who you truly are, who you always have been, and to delight in the return to your natural divine state.  All on the planet are set to take part in this amazing new vision that will inspire and uplift humanity to undreamed of levels of harmonious cooperation, enabling the undoing and repair of the damage that has been inflicted on the planet and on so many of her inhabitants.
As you awaken you will find yourselves offered boundless assistance in the task of cleansing and renewing the planet by those who have watched over you for eons, and who will provide you with fantastic technologies, way beyond anything you have ever imagined, which will make the task of planetary repair and renewal swift, effective, and easy.  And of course they will provide or demonstrate to you new ways to access the energy you need to run all your essential services without the collateral damage and pollution that has always seemed to be unavoidable with your present vast complex of industrial systems.
Pollution and toxic waste are not the inevitable side effects of industry!  What has been occurring on Earth under your stewardship has been a complete disregard for the responsibilities that living on Earth involved.  You have been operating a system of rape, pillage, and destruction, and when all of value had been extracted from a site you just moved on.  No wonder the Earth is in such a parlous state.
This will all change.  You are finally becoming ready to take on the responsibilities that living peacefully, abundantly, and joyfully on Earth rightfully demand of you. And when, ably assisted by those who have come to help you, you do so, you will find that it is not a task of time-consuming drudgery but a most creative and inspiring experience that will bring you inordinate satisfaction.
Yes, many of you have for a long time been very concerned about the constant despoliation of your beautiful planet, and yet it seemed that there was very little that you could do about it.  However, your various movements to bring this knowledge out into the open have been most effective in bringing about alterations in people’s attitudes, and an awareness of the great need for change in your industrial practices.  And this enormous change in awareness is part of the awakening process that you have been undergoing.
To live in peace, joy, and harmony is your desire and has been your dream for eons, and now you are on the threshold of creating it.  You have never been alone, either as the human race on Planet Earth, or as individuals.  Mostly, this has not been apparent to you as you buried yourselves in conflict, disagreement, confusion, and sometimes even total despair as you played your unloving games of winning and losing within the illusion that appears to you to be so real.
Nevertheless, those in other realms — i.e. aware of but outside the illusion — have been with you constantly, offering unlimited support and love, but when you are totally engaged in the games that the illusion provides for your unceasing distraction, it is extremely difficult for you to be aware of anything other than how to survive in this ever-threatening environment.  To you, of course, it does not seem that are you are engaged in playing games; your environment seems totally real and absolutely deserving, in fact demanding of, your full attention in order for you to assure your survival within it.
Now, however, the utter insanity of your present state of existence is breaking through into your conscious awareness and insisting on your acknowledgment of it.  It is a shock and a relief for many who have had such a strong and intractable belief in the illusion and all of its accompanying misrepresentations which you have been led to believe is Reality.  It really has been quite a game that you have been playing with such concentration and intent for all these eons.  Rejoice in the confident knowledge that it is finally coming to its conclusion.
The anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and suffering that you have been experiencing will come to an abrupt end as you awaken into your true state of oneness with God and all of His divine creation, and recognize yourselves once more as divine beings, infinitely loved and of infinite value.  When that happens you will find yourselves once more in Reality — your eternal Home — in a state that is more Real than anything you could ever have imagined while you were shut down, disconsolate, fearful, and effectively buried in your illusion.  You are about to discard your belief in it, lay it to rest, and allow it to dissolve into the nothingness from which you made it.  The moment for eternal rejoicing is almost upon you, so hold your Light on high, share it unreservedly with all, and know that the moment for your awakening draws ever closer.
Your loving brother, Jesus.

9 may. 2012

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Humanity is on the verge of incredible opportunity and excitement

Humanity is on the verge of incredible opportunity and excitement

by John Smallman
When you all awaken into the amazing brilliance of Realty your joy will be ecstatic.  It truly is your natural state – constant ecstatic joy – and it will be as though you had never left, which of course you never did.  Your memories of pain, fear, betrayal, scarcity, and suffering of any kind, which are such heavy burdens for you now, will be no more — because they were completely illusory and dissolved with the illusion.
While you are experiencing the illusion as real, this is very difficult for you to understand, and many of you might think that not to have memories of these bad times would be a loss, something that would detract from the joy of awakening into Reality and finding that they had dissolved.  But this is not the case.  To be in joy with absolutely no memory of the illusion is to be completely released from that unhappy state and from any shadow it could cast on your present enjoyment.
People who have undergone traumas in their lives try to forget them, try to deny that they ever happened, and are frequently plagued with horrific nightmares in which they relive the intensity of those ghastly experiences, and as a result they often dread going to sleep.  So too do children who have had terrifying nightmares of various sorts.
Memories of this nature could only detract from your peace and joy, and in any case there would be no point at all in having memories of horrific experiences that never actually occurred.  In Reality your experience is always now and it is always infinitely joyful, because that is the state that Reality maintains eternally for all of God’s divine creation.
To be awake is to be in joy, harmonizing with all of creation in a glorious symphony of creativity that never ceases to amaze and astonish all with the infinite possibilities that it constantly provides.  When you awaken, your expression ”Never a dull moment” — which normally carries an air of regret or lament — will be infinitely and exhilaratingly surpassed!
Humanity is on the verge of incredible opportunity and excitement, as the moment for your awakening moves forward to meet you with increasing rapidity. Do not let the doubts or skepticism of others distract you from your duties as Light-holders, which is to encourage and inspire all with whom you interact in any way at all, by demonstrating loving attitudes and compassionate behavior in every situation in which you find yourselves.
Remember, you have boundless assistance from those in the spiritual realms to help you maintain your own spiritual balance and unconditionally loving composure, whatever the circumstances.  Just ask.  You are always heard and responded to immediately.  But be open to unexpected suggestions; they can seem strange — maybe even inappropriate — compared to what you had expected to hear.  So go with your intuitive sense of what is needed to help you identify the best response to any situation in which you find yourselves, releasing any egoic need to be recognized as smart or wise, and trust the guidance that is offered in response to your call for help.
As Light-holders you are going to find yourselves increasingly in demand to assist others who become confused and fearful, when issues that they had long thought resolved storm once more into their awareness for recognition and release. (Indeed you yourselves may also still have issues you need to face.  And doing so will help you immeasurably in accessing the compassion required to release them and to help others to do likewise.)  This is a sign that although it seemed to them that these issues had been dealt with satisfactorily, they had in fact been to a certain extent in denial about them, probably because the pain of dealing with them was so intense that they had said to themselves the equivalent of “Enough already!”
But your issues do have to be completely resolved before you will feel free to awaken, because unresolved issues block and interfere with your desire to open to and accept the Love that your Father is offering you and everyone on Earth unconditionally and indiscriminately.  Releasing your issues — by no longer holding grudges, resentments, anger, judgments, or desires for recompense against anyone you believe has offended or dishonored you — makes it possible for you to share in and be a part of the unconditional and indiscriminating Love that God offers to all, eternally.
You, ever single human, is an essential part of God’s divine Love field, but if you hold on to issues that involve any judgment at all, it means that you do not accept the unconditionality of Love, thus you withhold It and block yourselves from receiving It as well.  It’s the “I wouldn’t want to be a member of a club that has people like me/her/him as members” syndrome.  In God’s divine Reality all are always welcome; no sponsors, recommendations, dues, or special talents are necessary.  Let go of your issues and awaken!
With so very much love, Saul.
John Smallman | May 9, 2012 at 12:06 am | Categories: Uncategorized | URL:

8 may. 2012

Is There Such A Thing As Sexual Addiction?

By Dr. Margaret Paul

In a recent article in Blogs, ( psychologist David Ley states in his new book, "The Myth of Sex Addiction," that there is no such thing as sex addiction—that the term is just an excuse for bad behavior. I disagree with that position. In my view, the label of ‘addiction’ doesn’t excuse anything. That’s because my definition of addiction is anything we do to avoid taking responsibility for our feelings and the resulting behavior. Since my definition centers around choice, it is not about an illness that is ‘happening’ to you, and therefore cannot be used as an excuse.
In my experience, addictions are a result, not a cause. While they can cause many severe problems and even death, the underlying cause is the avoidance of responsibility for one’s own emotions, and sex addiction is no exception.
Let’s take an example:
Henry and Alicia have been married for 18 years. Alicia grew up in a household where looks and sexual desirability were highly admired. She learned early to attach her worth to whether a man desired her, and to try to fill her emptiness through male attention. Early in their marriage, Alicia attached her worth and happiness to whether or not Henry wanted to have sex with her. She had also learned in her family to get angry and blaming when she didn’t get what she wanted.
Henry grew up in an alcoholic home with two very controlling parents. He not only learned to turn to alcohol to avoid his feelings; he also learned to resist what Alicia wanted by shutting down. This was his way of not being controlled by her.
Both Alicia and Henry were addicted: Alicia was addicted to sex as a way of getting validated, and to anger to get her way. She was unwilling to take responsibility for defining her own worth, bringing herself joy, and learning to fill her own emptiness through her spiritual connection. Henry was addicted to alcohol to numb his feelings, and to withdrawal as his way of having control over not being controlled. Alicia was angry and hurt much of the time over Henry not wanting sex with her, and Henry was angry and hurt much of the time over Alicia wanting to use him sexually to fill her emptiness and validate her worth.
Both Alicia and Henry were addictively avoiding their deeper feelings of loneliness and heartbreak over their childhood and over their marriage with each other. By avoiding their painful feelings with their addictions, they were both abandoning themselves, and then wanting the other person to give them what they were not giving to themselves. By abandoning themselves with their various addictions, they were causing their anger, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame and emptiness, which then led to more addictive behavior.
Their addictions were not the primary cause of their pain, but the result of their self-abandonment.
SELF-ABANDONMENT is THE underlying cause of sex addiction and other addictions. Alicia and Henry’s addictions are the result of avoiding learning how to fill themselves with love from their spiritual source, so that they are not empty and needy of something external to fill them up and take away their pain.
While the above scenario is about a relationship where the woman is sexually addicted, it is far more common for the sex addict to be a man. I chose the example of the woman being the sex addict to show that both sexes can suffer from this addiction.
Addictions are not an excuse for bad behavior. Rather, addictions indicate a lack of courage to face painful feelings head on—to learn from them with love and compassion rather than avoid them with various addictions.

What Does it Mean to be a Spiritual Person?

By Dr. Margaret Paul

People often confuse spirituality with religion. People can be both religious and spiritual, but it is also possible to be religious without being spiritual, or to be spiritual without being religious.

You go to church every Sunday and you say your prayers every day. Does this mean you are a spiritual person?
You practice yoga and meditate every day. Does this mean you are a spiritual person?
You belong to spiritual group and are devoted to following the teachings of the group. Does this mean you are a spiritual person?
What, then, does it mean to be a spiritual person?
Being a spiritual person is synonymous with being a person whose highest priority is to be loving to oneself and others. A spiritual person cares about people, animals, and the planet. A spiritual person knows that we are all One, and consciously attempts to honor this Oneness. A spiritual person is a kind person.
So, you can go to church every Sunday and say your prayers every day, without caring about loving yourself, others and the planet. You can practice yoga and meditate every day without being conscious of what is loving and what is not loving in your thoughts and actions. You can belong to a spiritual group and devotedly follow the teachings, yet still be judgmental toward yourself and others in your daily life.
There are many people who do not practice a religion, who do not meditate, pray or belong to any group, who are very spiritual people. These people naturally do caring things for others. They think about how they can help. Their thoughts are kind rather than judgmental toward themselves and toward others. When you look at them, you see kindness in their eyes.
There are many religious people who are anything but kind. We all know of religious people who are extremely judgmental, righteous, and outright mean. Can you be both religious and spiritual? Of course! But only when you are operating in your religion from your heart rather than from the learned dogma of your mind.
Years ago I very briefly attended a "spiritual" group. People would meet in an auditorium to hear the leader of the group speak. The second time I attended I heard a number of parents yelling at their children and judging them to try to control them. These parents were being anything but kind with their children. That was the last time I attended the spiritual group. The focus of the group was surrender to God, but love was rarely in the picture! They obviously had a very different experience of God than I did.
My experience of God is that God is the energy of Love that created us and sustains us. In my experience, "God is Spirit" (John 4:24) and "God is love" (1 John 4:16). Anything that is not of love, peace, joy, truth and kindness is not of God. Praying to God does not mean that you are allowing the spirit that is God - the love, peace, joy, truth and kindness that is God - to guide your thoughts and actions. Practicing yoga or meditating does not mean that you have invited the love that is God into your heart, or that you are turning to that ever-present love to learn about what is in your highest good, and the highest good of others and the planet.
If you want to be a spiritual person, then let kindness be your guiding light - kindness toward yourself, toward others, toward animals, and toward this beautiful planet that is our home. Recognize that we all have the spark of love that is God within us, and learn to honor that love so that you can know and experience the Oneness of all that is.
Practicing Inner Bonding and learning to be kind to yourself inevitably leads to kindness to others. Inner Bonding is a powerful spiritual path.

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When We Tell Our Inner Child that Something Bad Is Happening

By Phyllis Stein, Ph.D.

Are you causing your inner child to feel sad or scared by telling him or her that something bad is happening? Phyllis shows us the subtle ways that we might be doing that.

There is a saying in some spiritual circles "You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought." I have never related to it. It always seemed like a way to try to be in control rather than be authentic. At them same time, a basic tenet of Inner Bonding is being aware of the effect of what we are telling our inner kids. Somehow, I never completely saw that everything I am thinking IS what I am telling my little girl. I didn't see that when I told her that something bad is happening, when I thought I was just thinking about something that was true, it had a profound effect.
On one level, this is completely obvious. I have a friend who lives in Washington, DC. I finally reached her by phone about 4 days after 9-11. She was in a state of total panic. "I am so scared," she said. "I have gotten 2 weeks worth of food. I have taken all the precautions. I took a long walk with my husband and tried to calm down by talking with him and nothing helped." I asked her to tune into what she was telling her little girl about how something terrible was going to happen. Then I asked her if she would say that to her granddaughter. She gasped and said, "No. I would tell her that we will be okay. That we are doing everything we can to take care of her." My friend got it. She calmed down instantly.
But this can be more subtle and confusing. For example, we live in a world of global warming and other potential disasters. We hear about how something bad is happening all the time. Some of us are glued to TV news, endlessly absorbing the threats. Imagine telling a real child, every day, the polar ice caps are melting. Everything is going to flood. Disaster is coming. Actually, some of us did grow up with a version of that. We felt sad and frightened. That is what we do to our inner children when we dwell on the bad things that are happening or going to happen. What would you tell a real child whom you loved very much? Maybe you would hold that child and tell him or her about all of the people that are working hard to keep this from happening. Maybe you would tell the child that you will be there and do what you can to stay safe. Maybe you would tell the child what you are doing to try to make things better. Maybe you would listen to the child's feelings about how scary and sad this is. Maybe you would talk about how God keeps us safe. Maybe you would stop watching TV news. There are a lot of loving possibilities. But what you would NOT do is keep reminding the child, over and over, day after day, about how bad things are going to be and how helpless everyone is. You would not ignore the effect you are having on the child. Saying this would not be "being realistic," it would be being cruel.
An even subtler version of this, at least to me, was how I was making my little girl sad about bad things that may be happening to people I love. I was doing this in the case of my ex-husband who appears to have completely lost himself to an addiction that could destroy him. It seemed so ordinary to tell her that something bad is happening to him. Every time there was another incident that reminded me that this was going on, I would tell her, again, "Something bad is happening to him," and she would become horribly, horribly, heartbreakingly sad. I could not figure out why I could not let go of this sadness. Then I saw that the sadness was caused by me, not by the situation. I saw that if this were a real child, it would be completely unloving to tell her, over and over, that something bad is happening to someone she loves. It was not about pretending that this is not happening, or that this is something she does not know about. There is no new information for her here. Suddenly, I realized that I had another choice. I picked up my sad little girl and this is what I told her. "We both love him and we both care about him. How about let's cuddle up together and pray for him and send him light?" When I did that, my sad little girl felt happy and safe and cared for, and I knew that I was done making her sad.
So we need to be more deeply aware of our thoughts and how they become things we are saying to our little one. Thoughts about bad things that could happen cause our feelings. These truly are negative thoughts. Even when our thoughts seem to be the natural consequence of external events, it's worth always asking, "Would I say this to a real child that I loved?" Chances are you wouldn't. Then you might ask, "What would I say to that child?" and say that to your little one. The outside world will not change, but the inside one definitely will. 

When We Tell Our Inner Child that Something Bad Is Happening

The DSM and the Enneagram

Intención paradójica